It’s useful to realise that these five critical needs, to feel secure, important, included, respected and accepted, are overlapping.
For instance everyone of these needs can be met by accepting our child’s mistakes.
When Jason knocks a full mug off the table, we can enable him to still feel secure and accepted by being calm and display a respectful manner. (We wouldn’t yell at a neighbour if they did it, would we?) We can enable him to feel included by inviting him to help clear up the mess. This also gives him a sense of importance in that he is trusted to help clear it up.
It’s not that what he did doesn’t matter, it’s just that he and the connection you have with him matters more.
So, when our child comes to us having done something we would have been scolded for when we were young, if we think LOVE first of all we’ll be more able to fulfil these needs.
Now, you may wonder how do I prevent the angry outburst? Find out here
Get How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children by Dr Gerald Newmark on Amazon