Monthly Archives: April 2014

hand-on-forehead

Angry Outbursts? How to Stop Them Once and For All.

I read a blog post on the No Spank Challenge that broke my heart.

It was written by Dare Ellis called, And We Try a Little Harder. She has a compelling writing style. Not only does she write from the heart with humility and candour, but paints a vivid picture.

What broke my heart was not the description of her upbringing, both in her natural home and her first foster home, although it certainly was enough to do that.

What I was most moved by was this passage:

 I was not raised in a gentle household, and so the example I had growing up was to meet force with force.  The reactions built and trained into me are not gentle ones.  I must overcome the urge to yell and slap every day.  Every.  Day.  And sometimes I fail and yell at him.  And sometimes I find myself trying to manipulate my son the way my father manipulated me.  I blur the line of teaching him empathy with trying to make him feel guilt for things.  And I hate the ‘me’ inside more every time.

This broke my heart because it doesn’t have to be this way. Dare and countless other parents who also “must overcome the urge to yell and slap every day” don’t have to keep doing the things that cause them to hate themselves.

Like I did.  Continue reading